“The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.”
Clarity, I tend to think, is a little bit like a dream. You get a taste of it for a moment and everything makes perfect sense, but before you even have a chance to preserve the dream, you get called back to reality. You lose the sight of the simple truths that were so crystal clear mere moments before. How I wish I could grasp on to those lucid thoughts, those moments of understanding, and not let go. I wish I could firmly plant my feet on a solid, decisive path. I think of the poem, "Footprints" and I am reminded that there is no solid path. The walk of life is not a paved road with a definitive direction. It's a sandy passage, that if we try to walk on our own will strain and exhaust. Sometimes we need to be carried through. We cannot always find answers or direction in our own strength and willpower. No amount of straining or striving will bring us to the end. So I will rest my head on the shoulder of the one who has promised to carry me through this walk of life. I will rest and trust that I will be brought through the mire. I am where I need to be right now. I will wake up and find that I have gotten through to the other side and walk on my own two feet again, but never alone.
I may not have clarity in all the areas of life that I desire, but I do know that I am not alone. I am grateful for that certainty.
The dream paragraph reminded me of when i used to dream about my mother. I loved those dreams and they seemed so real that for awhile after i would wake up I felt like I had actually gotten to see my mom. I would lay in bed in that half awake state and fight the urge to wake up fully. I don't dream of her as much anymore.
ReplyDeleteI have had great portions of life where i was carried, to the point i can not even remember getting through it, but somehow whatever was going on came to an end and I was left standing on the other side. It's those memories that keep me hoping in life, even when God feels so far away, almost like a fairy tale from my child hood. I still knows He's there walking me through.